Sunday, March 30, 2014

A Scottish man was at a baseball game...

A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming "Run, run!" 

This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. 

Some Funny Answering Machine Messages.

My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 

Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you. 

A Few Quick Jokes

Q: How do you get your wife to scream while you are having an orgasm? 
A: Call her and tell her where you are. 

Q: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have? 
A: Divorce proceedings, most likely. 

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